November was great, the first half of December was good…and
then it all went to pot! HA!
But, you know what? I’m
not giving up. Why? Because I want to make big changes in my
life, and the only way to do that is to learn from my mistakes, try new ways of
accomplishing what I want to, and find the right path that will take me to the
life I want to live.
So!
Earlier this month, I started to realize that I was on the
same slippery slope as I've found myself on before, which would lead inevitably
to a return to the life I used to lead.
I do NOT want to return to that version of myself, in fact I REFUSE to,
and I will fight, kicking and screaming to keep from returning there.
When I realized what was starting to happen again, I decided
to do something about it. Right then my
sister texted me saying that if we are what we eat, she was a potato chip. And I was a chocolate and caramel-coated
piece of popcorn.
Coincidence? Hmmmm…
Anyway, I thought about what to do to put myself back on the
path to the life I wanted to live. In
the past, I've made elaborate plans to work out xx amount each week, eat 100%
healthy, walk everywhere, etc. The
problem was I wasn't considering what might actually work.
I've also been dreaming for quite a while about what life
would be like when I reached my goals, and therefore could start to live the
life I wanted. And to my mind, achieving
the life I wanted could only be achieved by the elaborate and unrealistic plans
I mentioned above.
So what happened?
Well you don’t have to be a fortune-teller to see what happened:
I got nowhere.
Since I’m now of a mind of learning from my previous experiences, rather than “failing” and
beating myself up for my failures, I tried another tack—to make a plan of
sorts, but make it with a mind to what I’m willing to do for the long-haul, and what makes
allowances for real life.
Revolutionary! Well…at
least for me. J
Phase one was starting to think about what I would do when I lived the life I wanted, and
therefore what I was going to start to do
right now. In other words, stop
dreaming and do it.
Phase two was figuring out how to manage my food intake,
while still living a real life, and in no way shape or form being ridiculously restrictive,
what could eventually become automatic, but while still working toward my
health goals.
So far, the form that’s taken is a plan to eat healthy,
whole foods 90% of the time, stay in my calorie range 90% of the time, and try
it for 35 days. Why 35 days? Because every 35 days our livers are renewed,
and if our liver is clean and healthy, it has a much better chance to clean out
the rest of our body! Cool right?
I’m also thinking of things in terms of what I've done for the week, rather than just for a
day, because I've often fallen for the trap that has also snared so many others—the
“oh just for today, I can start tomorrow”.
Well that might be true, but when I repeated it to myself over and over
and over, time went by and I not only didn't “start tomorrow”, I found myself
further away from my goals, and on that darned slope again!!!
I really like how this plan allows for flexibility. The end plan, after I try 90x90x35 for a
while (35 days to be exact!), may look more like 80x90 or 90x80 or 95x95 for
all I know. Somewhere above 80% clean,
80% of the time. It’s about trying new
things to see what works for me, so we’ll see!
For now, it’s 90x90x35, the Liver Plan (lol).
Phase two week one ends on Friday (two days from now), and
it so far has been a mixed bag. That’s
OK, since I’m making some pretty serious life changes, and discovering what
will ultimately work for me. I’m also
PMSing (sorry guys) so the junk cravings are in full swing!
This week I have given in a couple of times (a non-healthy
muffin today, and too much chocolate a couple of evening’s ago) and tracked it
all. It doesn't disappear just because
it’s not acknowledged! This week so far
I've also made some healthy choices, and planned for some life events as
well. I knew I was going out for sushi
earlier this week, so I planned for that.
Normally I’d go nutso (I love sushi) but I figured out how I could have
what I wanted and enough of it to feel satisfied, without leaving full and
round like a teletubby. Yes, it was a
large meal, but it was smaller than it could have been.
Because I’m thinking of things in terms of a week, not a
day, I’m going to do what I can to make up for my little PMS-y indiscretions
(lol) get my exercise in for the week (activity as much as I can, actual
workouts at least 2x), and try to make sure I’m as close to where I hope to be
in a “good” week. If there’s a discrepancy,
I won’t beat myself up, as that is what I used to do, but I no longer do as the
new me. I’ll learn from my “mistakes”—be
prepared for the PMS and have healthy versions of comfort foods at the ready!—and
move on to next week.
For those who like to track, here’s a snip of what each week
will look like, before I enter the data:
To translate, 1600 cals per day is just under my max (by 50
for a little wiggle room) at the moment, per day. The “remaining cals” line is 11200 because
that’s 1600 x 7 days. Since I’m
currently allowing myself up to 10% of my food as unhealthy (anything not whole
and clean, including things like alcohol) I track per day how much, if any, of
my cals are unhealthy each day, and tally at the bottom. The tally is currently at 1060 because that’s
the unused portion. My week starts on
Saturday, because that’s market day!
This plan is also going to allow me to see trends. Like “just this one thing” thinking, which
will show up each time in the “unhealthy” column. Or if my resolve wanes toward the end of the
week, or Mondays mean more comfort-eating, or whatever. I’m not just trying to reach my health goals,
after all, but reach my “me” goals too, which means I want to figure out why I
found myself where I did.
I’m a bit of a planner.
Not sure if you noticed.
Luckily, the hard work is done as far as the planning, and
now all I have to do is copy a new little chart at the beginning of each week, be
a good girl and track my food and exercise, and move forward to a rosy future!
OH! And did I mention
that I’ve started not only drinking but brewing
kombucha?! Stay tuned for a post
about THAT! So EXCITED!!!
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